Why I Turn The Comments Off...

Some people seem to think it's a good idea to make comments like "were ddi u get ur astor morphr?" on whatever is my most recent video is. This...is pretty damn annoying. I reply that they should really stay on topic and comment on the video above. They then reply "well u shtu teh commments of". What a brilliant observation!

Let's get this straight...

I shut my comments off for a myriad of reasons. If there was one single reason that I shut my comments off, I would be the first to admit that I was being rather dense. However, five years of being on Youtube has drawn me to one simple conclusion: Nothing of use will EVER be left in the comment section after the first week the video has been published. I could end this blog entry on that note right there, but I feel the need to elaborate.

1. I am not afraid of critism.

I delete comments from the trolls. It's as simple as that. I know what my videos are, and I know that my videos have an international appeal thank you Google analytics because I don't speak in them. I also know that the noisiest bunch of ingrates seem to speak English...because they comment in English...and they want me to speak it in my videos. Fantastic. I will do just that and isolate my Japanese, Thai, Vietnamese, and Korean viewers. The United States fluxuates between third and fifth place in terms of my highest viewed countries, yet they rank number one in terms of countries with the sorest vaginas. Frankly, I don't care that you need someone to hold your hand and explain a toy to you. Whats there to explain? They're pieces of plastic and metal in colorful boxes that sometimes make sounds if you put batteries in them.

I always felt that music was a much better alternative. A slideshow is the absolute fastest and most consistent way to show off all angles of everything [using hands to turn things to show off all the angles just looks kinda clumsy since the reviewer is most likely looking through the viewfinder, which throws off coordination]. It also becomes a good exercise in timing through editing to the music. That's just my style. It's the kind of review I would like to watch if someone else were to make them. If it isn't interesting to me, then why bother?

Also, if you have a channel and are as brash as to describe yourself as "professional", please detach your wang from your lips. I'm not, and you aren't. They're toys and this is a hobby. Get over it.

2. I am not here to help you find the magic cave that I get all of my toys.

Learn the language. Figure out where and how to get toys from Japan. Rinse, lather, repeat. I've been an avid user of Yahoo! Japan Auctions for over ten years now. There are several sources to get new toys from. I know where to get toys because I really really wanted to know where I can find toys over the internet. If you want them enough, you will use Google to find out the process to find toys from Japan. I never advertised my assistance, yet people think they're entitled to it for some reason. Common sense will lead you down the right path. Once you get there, don't come bitching to me that Japanese toys are too expensive for you. I genuinely don't care.

3. I am not here to sell/give you my toys.

That's strictly for eBay. Moving on...

4. I am not here to take requests.

This one baffles me. I know that I have a lot of toys. I can't esacpe that fact physically. The typical request seems to be 100% off-topic. For example, on my review of the Dragon Buckler I might get a comment saying "when r u reviewing victory marz?/". Um, I don't own it. I've never indicated that I own it. I don't want to own it. Therefore....never. So why ask? Your shitty comment will never inspire me to add it to my schedule. If anything, I would put it futher back into my schedule out of spite.

People think this is a dick move on my part but I'll never understand why. I've never requested anything from anyone on Youtube. I just let nature run it's course. Youtube is rarely anybody's career. It certainly isn't mine. I figure that every toy I own is something that someone wants to see reviewed/videoed. Even if my latest upload isn't your cup of tea, it's probably someone elses.

Oh yeah, and it's my channel. I think the way to get the best work out of me is to let me review what I want. If I don't want to review something, the video will be subpar. See: DX Chogokin Jet Icarus.

5. I don't care.

I don't care about your comment. I don't care that the Power Rangers version of these toys are inferior. I don't care that you can't find some toys. I don't care that they're too expensive. I don't care that you finally found one after years of searching. I don't care that you want one. I don't care that your parents won't let you have it. I don't care that your dog ate it. I don't care that I shouldn't be buying toys at whatever age I am Happy Birthday to me, BTW. I don't care that so and so's review is better. I don't care that I'm months behind everyone else's review.

I. Don't. Care.


In the end, I like to hear what my loyal viewers have to say. I leave my comments open for a week after I upload a video to hear what my top subscribers have to say because they're the best in my book. Anything after a week just becomes a sea of drivel the likes of which I mentioned above. I don't know why this is, but I've been able to spot the trend and the one-week comment window is my best defense against it.

The only exceptions I make are for my car videos, special videos, and reviews of custom toys since...well, it isn't fair to @kingrangerprops that I am the one shutting off the praises of his excellent work.

Besides...if you were nearing 300 videos, would you have time to even read all of the comments let alone reply to them?

Well...see ya.


P.S. Why don't these ninnies ever have the common sense to private message me? It's always easier to ignore their BS privately. : p